13.3.06

Best Diet Plan Ever!

Ok, so I've figured it out. The secret that all women have been waiting for... A diet that works. Here's the plan, in 4 easy steps:

#1 - buy or receive as a gift, an iPod (any size and memory capacity will work)

#2 - actually use it to keep you occupied while running, or walking.

#3 - obtain allergies to all things capable of blooming, thus losing sense of smell (by-way-of runny and clogged nasal passages) and therefore ability to taste.

#4 - Eat most healthy, and probably most disgusting, food you can find. Why? Because you can't taste anything! Your desire to eat - while remaining - will become less essential and more mundane.

So there it is... Work out more, eat less and if not less, much healthier, you'll never know the difference. (if you see results checks can be made to "Susan Kommeth")

No seriously, Spring is my least favorite season. It always has been...and for one reason. Pollen. Of all kinds... I don't discriminate. It's all equal.
I mean, look at the stuff. It just looks evil. I bet it had no friends in school.

For the last week I have not been able to smell or taste anything. It's been terrible!
And the eating gross healthy food because you can't taste it part (the 4th step of my diet plan), is SO true. My parents have been eating all this weird food cause my mom is on this crazy diet (she should try mine!) and I had some this weekend. But yah know...I can't tell you it was bad...and I can't tell you it was good either...cause I couldn't taste it. Not a bit. (the one time I was thankful I couldn't taste!)

So...tonight, after running (step #2) with my iPod, I came in and tried to think of what to have for dinner. It was pointless. I didn't want to eat anything, because that would be so wasteful since I can't actually taste it... So I ended up eating tortilla chips (since they only have salt on them) and drinking a Cherry Coke (because they are filling) ... even though it about killed me to drink a Cherry Coke and not taste it...but that was the only carbonated drink we had. I probably should have just made some rice instead. But it's all about the same anyway.

But don't worry. Pollen won't get the best of me. Oh no! I have weapons to fight back...Alavert, Nyquil... Hopefully summer will hurry up and get here... That will be fun. I should have a anti UV-ray entry by then.

"As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease." Genesis 8:22
...I think that includes pollen...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's not true! You should discriminate against different types of pollen. It's pollen from ugly flowers that gets you. You think I'm joking, don't you? I'm not! Pretty flowers don't produce pollen to the massive extent plants with ugly flowers do because they don't need to. They're pretty so they attract the birds and the bees to spread it for them (other insects too). Plants with ugly flowers have to produce tonnes more pollen so that it has half a chance of landing on another plant.